Lesbian Parenting – Deciding If and When to Have a Baby
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Jeanine_Byers_Hoag]Jeanine Byers Hoag
“Children alter your life forever. Whether you choose to bear, foster-parent or adopt a child or simply to become an “aunt” to a friend’s child, you are linking your life to a youngster, opening your world to hers or his. You will never be the same. How do you go about making such a life-changing decision?”-Merilee Clunis, Ph.D., and G. Dorsey Green, Ph.D., The Lesbian Parenting Book: A Guide to Creating Families and Raising Children
In their lesbian parenting book, the authors list a number of questions prospective lesbian parents should consider as they decide whether or when to have children. I have a few to add, myself, and I suggest, if you are partnered, that the two of you each take some time on your own to journal about these questions and then, discuss them together.
What have your experiences with children been like, so far?
1) If you haven’t had a lot of experience, now would be a good time to offer up your babysitting services to get a feel for what it is like. I also suggest interviewing new parents, parents of elementary school children and parents of teenagers to get a feel for what their experiences have been. Ask them these questions…
2) What do you love about parenting?
3) What challenges do you face?
4) What’s the hardest thing about parenting?
5) What didn’t you expect?
If you have had some experience caring for children, journal about how it felt.
1) What did you enjoy?
2) What did you not enjoy?
3) If there were moments when you were grateful to hand the child back to his or her parents, what were those moments like?
1) Is this a good time to have children? Speaking of time, how do you feel about the inevitable loss of time all mothers experience?
2) What about your financial situation-can you afford to bear and raise a child?
3) Have you thought about how being a mother will affect your career?
4) Sometimes, people are more in love with the fantasy of having children than prepared for the actual reality. Is there any possibility that that is the case with you?
5) Do you have any fears about parenting?
6) If you do decide to have children, do you want to bear them yourself, have your partner bear them, adopt, be a foster parent, use artificial insemination? Give some thought to which of these options you would be open to exploring.
7) How “out” are you comfortable with being? Having children takes away control of how out you are and if there are any areas of your life where that would be a problem, you want to think that through before deciding.
8) Do you have enough community or family support to raise a child? Will you want to involve men in your community in raising your children?
9) How will having a child affect your relationship?
The next article in this two-part series will address unresolved issues and questions to discuss with your partner. You will need to have a plan for handling areas where you disagree.
For a free healing meditation and energy healing techniques you can use for healing emotional wounds and clearing limiting beliefs, go to [http://www.spiritualaromatherapy.com/how-to-heal-your-issues.html]Healing Your Issues and complete the form.
Interested in natural or holistic parenting? For information and resources for new and expectant moms, or other moms interested in attachment parenting, natural remedies for healing, easy healthy family meals and more, go to [http://www.naturalmomma.com]http://www.naturalmomma.com.
Jeanine Byers Hoag is a certified holistic healing practitioner, a certified spiritual aromatherapist, a midlife renaissance coach, a life purpose analyst, an ordained LGBT minister, a homeschooling mom, an INFP and an Enneagram 4.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Lesbian-Parenting—Deciding-If-and-When-to-Have-a-Baby&id=3942125] Lesbian Parenting – Deciding If and When to Have a Baby