To Be Pregnant or Not to Be? Lesbian Pregnancy
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Alex_Karydi]Alex Karydi

I can feel the warm breath of my five-year-old daughter against my neck, sleeping soundly in my arms. It's been a rough day and she has been sick. As I hold her feverish little body, and caress her head gently I am filled with the joy of motherhood- there is nowhere I would rather be (even under the circumstances). Holding my child gives meaning and purpose to my life, and without that attachment I would be an empty person.

The only reason I know this, is because before my child was born I walked on this planet quiet lost. It was her life that set me straight, ironically in a gayest of ways. I lived my life by rules and morals that were social norms. I did what I was told, always, and kept a level of perfection that was suffocating me.

My daughter's birth gave me a power that had stirred under the surface. I realized there were no limits to where life could take me, and that I was the only person responsible for the barriers I faced- as I have built them all. I am completely in love with my child, and the beauty she brings to my life. She initiated a domino effect that brought about peace, stability, and balance that had lacked.

For the last five years I have battled the idea of having another child, and it has been a constant mental debate. When is the right time? Is this the right partner? What about money? And where do I get sperm from? It would be so much easier if I just liked boys, right? Well, maybe not, because I know heterosexual couples and straight women have their own fertility and childbearing internal turmoil to deal with.

My girlfriend has made it clear from the beginning that having children was a fundamental goal in our relationship. Having one, already made, just reinforced the joy of having more kids. We looked at our beautiful little girl and decided to do some research, and make some phone calls to my medical insurance company. Our conclusion- making a baby the lesbian way is hard work. We needed more advice.

So I went to my gynecologist and declared that "this lesbian wants some more babies," with a big smile she gave me her blessing, and a name of ONE fertility specialist that would be willing to work with a gay couple. Really? Unfortunately, yes. I was given the name of three other fertility specialists that I was to avoid at all cost as I would not be helped, and services would be denied because of my sexual orientation.

Honestly, I am not easily brought down, but there was something about this conversation that filled me with a depression that lasted a few days. Here I am trying to build a family with someone I love, and I already have a beautiful daughter, whom I provide for financially, emotional and even spiritually, and I would be DENIED services. All my efforts at being a well adjust partner and mother were still not enough for me to be seen as a member of society who was entitled of medical attention. That's fucked up!

Today, I am unsure of whether to have a child in this political climate. And some may judge me as a coward, and they are right, I do have fears. History has demonstrated its power of destruction and torture. And although, many will argue that we will never revisit the atrocities of WWII, I call on their bullshit. There are countries right at this moment were genocide is taking place. Even today, I have very real fears for my daughter growing up in a Lesbian home, that have nothing to do with my partner or our relationship, but the world around us.

I am still going to go see the ONE fertility specialist and see where I go from there, but here are a few things you should consider before you begin to plan to have a baby the lesbian way:

Consider that having a child is a lifetime commitment. Are you ready to take on this responsibility?
Have you thought through how you'll handle childcare responsibilities and balancing work and family?
Are you ready to parent a special-needs child if you have one?
If you have a partner, are you both equally committed to becoming parents?
If you and your partner have religious differences, have you discussed how they will affect your child?
Where do you stand with you own identity? Your sexual orientation?
Are you financially stable? Families in the middle-income group will spend $286,050 to raise a child from birth through age 17.
Are you emotionally stable? Women who suffer from depression are twice as likely to have problems with fertility as women who don't.
What is your medical history. Find out if any genetic or chromosomal disorder like Down syndrome, sickle cell anemia, cystic fibrosis, Tay-Sachs disease, or bleeding disorders. You'll also want to know if any relatives have mental retardation or other developmental delays or were born with an anatomical birth defect, like a cardiac or neural tube defect.
Your age. Parental age matters, especially for women.
Do you have a support system- it really does take a village to raise a child, and you better make sure it is a stable and healthy one helping you.

Let the journey begin…

Alex Karydi~The Lesbian Guru

I am a Internationally Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor that has been trained in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender LGBT related issues. I write for the Examiner.com as their Lesbian Relationship Expert and am a featured writer on SexGenderBody.com. My intention is to start a movement towards a healthier and more supportive community! Where LGBTs can find one another, learn from each other, and build a stronger support system. I, myself, am on a personal quest in discovery for a healthier gay relationship and self-fulfillment.

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to email me at  [mailto:TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com]TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com with ExaminerQ as the title or you can follow me on my Blog http://TheLesbianGuru.com Are just Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love on http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru
 

Karydi, Alex "To Be Pregnant or Not to Be? Lesbian Pregnancy." To Be Pregnant or Not to Be? Lesbian Pregnancy EzineArticles.com. http://ezinearticles.com/?To-­Be-­Pregnant-­or-­Not-­to-­Be?-­Lesbian-­Pregnancy&id=6912920

Child Custody Disputes Involving Gay and Lesbian Parents
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Shaun_Hanson]Shaun Hanson

Millions of gay men and lesbian women across the nation have biological or adoptive children. With modern technology and medical advances, some of these same-sex couples are now having children together through assisted reproduction techniques. Gay men can use a surrogate to carry a child that will be born from one partner's sperm and a donor egg, and lesbian women can bear children with a donor's sperm. However, a majority of individuals in gay or lesbian relationships became parents in the context of a previous heterosexual relationship or marriage. Once the individual comes out as gay or lesbian, he or she usually wants child custody even in their new partnership situation. Therefore, when a lesbian or gay man is involved in a child custody dispute with the other parent, it is likely that the dispute will be with a heterosexual person.

This type of child custody dispute has only become popular in the last decade. Back in the 1960's when anti-gay discrimination was widespread, it was common for gay and lesbian parents to be stripped of their parental rights altogether. It wasn't until 1967 that things began to change for the gay and lesbian community. In Nadler v. Superior Court, the California Court of Appeal reprimanded a trial court for ruling that a lesbian mother was presumptively unfit. With this ruling, the state of California set the precedent for the next couple of decades, in which courts in most states adopted a similar evidence-based, child-centered approach for child custody cases.

Today, only a few states remain in which courts are permitted to automatically presume that a lesbian or gay parent is unfit to be a child's primary custodian. States that have adopted a nondiscriminatory approach include Georgia, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Arkansas, South Carolina, West Virginia, and more. However, discrimination against gay and lesbian parents still exists in subtle forms. For example, some state courts may prohibit divorced parents from living with an unmarried partner as a condition of custody or visitation rights. Courts may also rule that parents cannot bring their children to religious services that affirm lesbian or gay people.

Even though the court prejudice has dramatically improved over the last forty years, gay and lesbian parents are still the victims of discrimination in custody and visitation cases in some states. When determining custody rights, it is the responsibility of the court to take into consideration the parent-child relationship and certain factors that are involved, such as the length of the relationship between the adults, and whether or not the parent already lives with the child. The court must also consider the intentions of both partners to work together, and if there were any parenting agreements signed. Despite several court victories and overall improvements in California and other states, gay and lesbian parents seeking custody of their children may face court discrimination in some states. If you are a gay or lesbian parent seeking to win custody rights of your children after a divorce, a skilled divorce lawyer can provide the dedicated legal counsel you need to fight for your rights in court.

The attorneys at Hanson, Gorian & Bradford are skilled in handling all types of family law and divorce cases. We are committed to helping clients during the difficult times surrounding divorce, custody and visitation disputes. Our firm is passionate about providing clients with personalized attention outside of the courtroom, and we are always available to answer your questions and concerns.
A Riverside divorce attorney at our firm will provide compassionate support and legal guidance during your case, and will fight for your rights in court. Regardless of whether you are fighting for child support, child custody or dealing with spousal support issues, we have the resources you need to succeed in any type of family law case. Our firm helps individuals and families throughout the Riverside area with dedicated and experienced legal counsel, and we can help you achieve your legal objectives as well. Contact a Riverside divorce attorney or visit our website at http://www.divorceattorneysriverside.com to learn more about what we can do for you.

Hanson, Shaun "Child Custody Disputes Involving Gay and Lesbian Parents." Child Custody Disputes Involving Gay and Lesbian Parents EzineArticles.com. http://ezinearticles.com/?Child-­Custody-­Disputes-­Involving-­Gay-­and-­Lesbian-­Parents&id=6772131

10 Ways To Be a Terrific Parent!
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Troy_Price]Troy Price

Every parent's hope and desire for their child is for him or her to be happy and successful in life. However, the reality is that despite the good intentions of parents, many of today's children are being neglected and not properly lead that will put them on that path to success. When there is no direction and no program in place, both the parent and child are left wandering aimlessly through a jungle of unknowns that often leads to misery and disaster.

Below is a road map that will give you hope and direction if you follow the guidelines set forth. It will help you to be not just a good parent but a terrific parent! Use it, apply it, and watch what happens. You will begin to see yourself in a different light and feel better about your parenting abilities.

So let's get you on the right road!

1. Have a discipline system in place and stick with it.

Whether or not children will admit to it, they desire discipline but more importantly direction on how to behave properly. When there is a lack of rules and inconsistency to enforce the rules, children quickly become confused as do the parents. This causes a lot of unnecessary frustration and tension that can easily be solved in two simple steps: One, have a simple system in place that clearly identifies the rules and consequences; and two, be consistent in enforcing the rules. It is important that both the child and parent understand how the system works and how it can benefit both.

When a parent neglects to consistently enforce the rules and carry out the system, he or she sets up false hopes and expectations that don't carry any value behind it. The child quickly learns that the system is weak, is not executed properly, and therefore begins to exploit those weak gaps. The child also learns how to manipulate to their advantage the inconsistency of both the system and parent and therefore gains more power over the parent. Meanwhile, the parent can't understand why they are losing the discipline battle with their child and becomes more frustrated and stressed out.

Whatever discipline system you create, make sure it is fair and that you firmly carry it out. Never give in or waiver from it and always be consistent. Once the child and parent understand the rules of the system and how to play by it, there will be less confusion, anxiety, and better communication. You will soon discover that your child's attitude and behavior will quickly turn around and your relationship with him or her will be happier and healthier.

2. Get Involved and Often.

It's been said that the greatest investment a parent can ever make in their child's life is spending quality time with them. When you are a part-time parent you get a part-time child. If you only put in 50 percent, you only get out 50 percent. If you want a strong and lasting relationship with your child, you have to be willing to make personal sacrifices and put in the time and effort with your child. It doesn't matter what you do as long as you do it together. Again, it's about the quality of time you spend together, not the quantity of activities.

Growing up, I played a lot of sports. The one thing I hated more that anything else was sitting on the bench and watching others in the heat of battle. I wanted more than anything to be in the middle of it all and when I wasn't it tore me up inside. No one likes to sit on the bench or "ride the pine" because it's lonely and boring. Everyone wants a piece of the action and maybe if their lucky enough, be the hero. When you sit on the bench as a parent, you miss out on some of the most precious moments of your child's life. Moments that you can never get back and ones that may never come again. Don't be a spectator parent. Get off the bench and into the middle of the fray. You'll be glad you did and so will your child.

When at all possible, try to be there for as many activities for your child as you can. And not just show up as I mentioned. Get involved by actively participating. My two oldest boys play baseball and so that I could spend more time with them, I help coach their little league team. It is a blast helping kids learn the great game of baseball but more importantly, I get to be directly involved in my children's lives while teaching and leading them. I know it makes a big difference to my boys when I am there cheering them on and supporting them at the field level. Even though they may not say it or fully appreciate me being there with them, I see it when my boys smile and high-five me once they round third. It is at that moment when I realize that this is where I need to be.

3. Set and Be a Great Example.

The role model that will have the greatest impact and influence on your child for either good or bad in their lifetime is you – the parent. For girls, that parent is the mother and for the boys, the father. That's not to say that both parents don't have a great influence on their child because they do, but studies have shown that same sex gender plays a greater role in how that child is influenced based upon the sex of that child. And from a logical stand point, that makes perfect sense. Females understand females better than a male and vice-versa and for obvious reasons. Nonetheless, both parents need to set and be a great example for their child.

When children are brought into this world, they learn from their parents and siblings within the home how to walk, speak, think, behave and acquire new knowledge and understanding. As time goes on and that child gets older, they begin to learn from others outside of their home environment. That's when they begin to simulate into society and learn new attitudes, feelings, and behaviors. Their mind and body are trying to formulate all this new knowledge and conceptualize how this information will be processed. In short, they are trying to find their identity and where they fit in the scheme of it all. It can be a very daunting and challenging task.

That's why it is so critical that your child gets off on the right foot to be better prepared and handle the difficult challenges that await him or her. You as a parent have a tremendous responsibility and duty to ensure that when your child leaves home on their own that they stand a fighting chance of surviving and thriving in a completely new environment that will shape who they are and who they will become. But before society teaches them, you have the distinct advantage to nurture and mold them into success so that when the gale force winds of life attack, their foundation will be strong enough to withstand it.

By setting a positive example right from the get-go, your child will know what pattern of behavior to follow. They will quickly learn what they should and should not do based on effective discipline. They will lean what is acceptable and is not acceptable based on your teachings.

The old saying, "Monkey see monkey do" is so applicable to parenting because children do exactly what their parents do. So, set the correct example from the beginning and then practice what you preach thereafter. Refuse to be the kind of parent who says, "Don't watch what I'm doing, only listen to what I say." What? Not only is that confusing but that's poor teaching. In essence, you are saying to your child, "Only learn the good and not the bad from me." I'm sorry but it doesn't work that way. You have to teach your child the good from the bad and then model the correct behavior in what is appropriate. When you do so, your child will understand much easier and quicker the next time he or she encounters a similar situation and know exactly what he or she must do to be successful.

4. Listen More, Talk Less.

Nobody likes to hear other people talk, especially when they drone on about themselves or have to hear an ear full for something they did wrong. Instead, take the more effective route and listen rather than talk. The rule of thumb is in any conversation, listen 80 percent and talk only 20 percent of the time. That can be especially tough for a parent since we always want to teach but here's the lesson: you can do more good by listening then you can by talking.

Stephen R. Covey coined the phrase: "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." If you want people to really "hear" or understand you, you must first listen to them. Allow them to share their thoughts and feelings without interruption. In most cases when you do, you learn a few things:

1. You tend to be less judgmental

2. You become less selfish because you're not trying to impose your will

3. You learn that most people figure the answer out themselves

4. You gather more insight and information from that person's point of view that you would otherwise

5. You become more sympathetic and learn patience

6. You build trust and respect

7. You are open to other alternatives or solutions that are not possible if you are the one dominating the conversation

Through the act of listening, you gain a better perspective of the whole scenario and can more clearly communicate your thoughts that best connect with the receiver. So the next time you go to talk, don't. Listen, learn, and then listen some more.

5. Be Gentle yet Firm.

It's always a fine balance of having just the right amount of gentleness mixed with firmness. There are times when you need to be firm, especially when it comes to rules and reprimand but there are also times when you must be gentle and offer a warm hug and comforting words.

There is a time and place for everything and you will have to learn when the right time is to use either or both simultaneously. When you are firm, be consistent and don't waiver from it. Don't be afraid to be so as well as be afraid of how your child will react. Do not be belligerent, overbearing, or intimidating. Not only is this bullying and abusive but manipulative. You will never win any battle by behaving in this manner. Instead, be calm, think calmly, and speak calmly. If need be, step back from the situation, collect your thoughts, regain your composure, and try again. Never act out in aggression or have emotion involved. Always defuse the situation by first removing emotion or yourself from the equation. When you do, reasonable heads will prevail and a solution will be reached sooner with little to no damage.

6. One-On-One Time is Gold.

Everyone wants to feel valued and feel like they are the only ones in the world. This is so true particularly with children. When a parent goes out of their way to make their child feel like they are a king or queen and show it through actions and not just words alone, that is worth more than all the riches in the world and 10 trips to Disney land.

If you ask your child what their fondest memory is as a family or with you, they won't necessarily say the time we went to so- and- so but will say the time you spent with him or her listening, teaching, and helping them. He or she will remember the camping trips and how you taught them to chop wood or set up a tent or the campfire songs. He or she will remember you teaching them how to throw a curve ball or a spiral or the time you took off work to be at their music recital or ballet. He or she will remember you staying up late and helping them with math or a science project that's due the next morning. Those are the small big moments that last and make a difference. Those are the golden moments that define who you are as a parent and what kind of parent your child will be. Look and focus on the gold mine and you will reap bountifully.

7. Love and Lift Always.

Children crave attention and in particular their parent's attention. Even as adults, we want to always please our parent's and make them proud of us. By virtue of being born, everyone should automatically be loved without strings attached. Love is the single greatest power that can literally change lives.

Over the years, there have been numerous psychology studies on the effect that love has on a newborn. What psychologists learned is that babies, who were coddled, loved, given a lot of affection and tension from an early age grew up "normal" with little to know side effects. In contrast, babies who were given less coddling, attention, and affection developed severe mental, psychological, and social issues. And in rare cases, a few of the babies literally died of a broken heart.

Without love, there is no life. And when we withhold our love from our children or make it conditional, we are slowing killing the life out of those precious individuals. Always give and receive of your love freely and let it grow in your children. Love has and always will endure forever.

One of the primary characteristics of love is support. When we love others, we should lift them as well. We should never belittle or put others down, especially our children. If we want to lift someone up we have to be standing on higher ground. Much like lifting someone out of a ditch, we can't if they are leveled or below us.

To lift up our children, we should always say kind and encouraging words that are genuine. Phrases such as, "You're a great kid!" or "I'm proud of you!" or "I knew you could do it!" are simple yet powerful ways to build self-confidence and self-esteem in a child or adolescent struggling emotionally to survive. Always build up your children and never tear them down.

8. Be Forgiving and Less Critical.

It is so easy to "fly of the handle" by yelling and screaming then it is by using self-restraint and mannerisms. How many of us have been guilty (far too often I imagine) of tearing a strip off our child in the heat of the moment only to feel guilt and remorse afterwards? The sad thing is that in most cases, the incident that your child was involved in was insignificant but yet, as a parent, we want to "teach our child a lesson" and to "get our point across" so that he or she will never do it again. So what do you do? You holler in a loud voice and threaten the child with severe punishment hoping to scare fear into him or her so that they will never do it again. Guess what? The chances of them repeating that same act or behaving in a similar manner are great. Why? Because we as humans don't learn things just once. Otherwise, we would all be virtuosos and be fluent in 10 languages. Years later, the kid may not remember what exactly he did but he will remember how his Mom or Dad reacted and the feelings he felt as a result. As humans, we tend to forget certain events but rarely do we forget feelings.

I recall a story someone told me years ago that stuck in my head. He said, "If you want to teach a child not to touch the stove, put his or her hand on the stove and see what happens. I guarantee he or she will never touch the stove again."

I said to him, "How do you know this?"

He responded, "You see this scar (pointing to his hand). My Dad did that to me when I was a kid and I have never forgotten it."

I'm sorry but I don't need to "touch the stove" to know that it will burn me if I do. Just like I don't need to walk on the moon to know that it exists. I can learn from other people's mistakes and more importantly, from correct principles and teachings then by actually participating.

As a parent, you need to be less critical and more forgiving. You make mistakes as well and so why do you expect your child to be perfect? After all, they too are learning and trying to create their own identity and part of that learning comes through trial and error. That is a good thing, not bad. So don't belittle him or her for learning and not always knowing what the right thing is that he or she should do. Be patience, be supportive, and see these opportunities as teaching moments to expound the correct methods of carrying out an activity.

9. Be There.

One of my biggest pet peeves in life is people who say that will do something and then don't. Where I come from, we call it integrity – something that has been forgotten over the years.

Not too long ago, we needed our roof repaired. My wife and I had called around to a dozen roofing companies leaving voice mail and email messages. Only two out of the twelve actually called us back and of those two, one of them didn't email me until eight days later. If you have ever tried to hire tradespeople, you know what I am talking about.

So, we finally tracked down what seemed like the only roofing company in town and after pleading and prodding for them to come, they did after three weeks of our initial call. By then, the monsoons had come and were causing considerable damage to our home. When they showed up to our home, one of the tradesmen got his ladder out, climbed on top of the roof, went from one end to the other and then came back down and said, "Yep, it's damaged, we'll have to fix it." He then said, "We'll be back."

Oh he came back alright, four weeks later! And when he did, he only did a partial job and then left again. These shenanigans continued on for weeks. I wanted desperately to fire him but I had no one else who would come and the roof needed to be fixed. After being polite and patient the first few times (I didn't want to tick him off and have him leave for good) I finally had enough. I called him up and left a terse message. I even wrote him a flaming email that got his attention. Sure enough, he came the next day and finished the job. In the end, we got our roof completed. What should have only taken a day, took over ten long and painful weeks. When you say you are going to be there or do something, do it. Don't lie and don't procrastinate. If you can't do it, then be honest enough to say so and don't commit to it. And if you do commit to something and a situation arises, have the decency to let the other person know. They will understand and forgive you. Don't leave them hanging and coward off. It makes you look bad and puts a black mark on your good family name.

When you tell your child you will be there for his or her school play or sporting event or pick them up from work, be there! If you don't, your child quickly learns that your word doesn't mean anything and three things happen: one, your child loses trust and confidence in you; two, your child internalizes your "mishap" or "lie" as them not being important enough for you to be there; and three; your child learns from your poor example and pretty soon, guess what starts to happen? Instead of your child coming home on time, he or she begins to come home later and later and uses the excuse, "I forgot" or "I was busy." Hum… does this sound familiar? It should. You taught them this, remember? And you didn't even realize it! Be there and your kids will be there for you.

10. Teach and Lead.

Every single day presents new learning opportunities, not only for you as a parent but for your child. Always seek to teach and lead whether the situation is good or bad. As parents, we are quick to point out the bad and teach the right but seldom to we praise the good moments and reinforce good decisions that are children make.

As a parent, learn to have faith and trust in your child. Allow them to make mistakes and to learn on their own from those mistakes. Guide your children through situations and have them discover for themselves what the correct choices or decisions they should have made. Point out to your child what would have happened had they made a better choice or decision so that they can visualize the outcome at their own level.

As you teach, always remember to lead. Lead by example and through encouragement. Learn to walk-the-walk and talk-the -talk. Children would much rather follow your actions and behaviours than what you say. Talk is cheap but actions speak volume. Lead by good example and your children will follow the leader. Lead by bad example and your children will still follow the leader.

Always be thinking, "How can I better lead my children and be a better parent?" In most cases, your children will teach you without you even knowing it. The secret is to listen and observe, ask questions and take genuine interest in them and their lives. When you do so, you will grow as a parent and as a leader and so will your children. Learn from each other and you will learn to be better.

Price, Troy "10 Ways To Be a Terrific Parent!." 10 Ways To Be a Terrific Parent! EzineArticles.com. http://ezinearticles.com/?10-­Ways-­To-­Be-­a-­Terrific-­Parent!&id=6632754

Top 10 Reasons to Legalize Gay Marriage
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Justin_Mohs]Justin Mohs

Written by a straight man, this article highlights some of the best reasons to support legalizing gay marriage. Marriage is the key ingredient for a happiness and stability and this shouldn't be denied from gay persons. If America wants to call itself free there simply is no other option.

1. It's simply the right thing to do.

2. Gay parents have been proven to be just as good parents as straight parents. Also, there are countless children waiting to be adopted and gay persons in wedlock are more likely to have children.

3. Children that are raised by gay parents have no more chance of being gay children than any other child. This is a notorious lie that has been perpetuated by hate and the extreme conservative right-wing of American politics. Being gay results from nature, not nurture.

4. To support the troops. "Don't Ask Don't Tell" has been repealed but this doesn't alleviate stress caused by not allowing gay partners to marry. It's not good policy to let gay combatants fight for their country with the uncertainty they have for what might happen to their partner if they die while fighting.

5. To give survivors rights to gay couples. Currently gay partners are not able to fully exercise their right to handle the legal matters of their dying partner and cannot fully be there for them in their final years. This is an insult to humanity to deny gay persons of the dignity of having their most loved and trusted person in the world be there during their last days.

6. For economy stability. Not just for the tax credits that straight married people enjoy, but also for the stability of the American economy. Allowing gay people to get married would give a growing population increased spending power. The tax benefits and extension of credit with two incomes in a married relationship could increase spending in industries such as durable goods, home improvement, automobiles, childcare, services, event planning, the economic benefits are endless!

7. Gay people deserve happiness just as much as straight people. Happiness derives from the love and devotion that comes from marriage. While it's true that many gay people are happy with the arrangement they currently have. They have two incomes, successful careers, and if they don't have children they more have more disposable income, but they commonly still feel like something is missing.

8. To reduce depression in adolescents. Giving gay children the hope that they can get married some day and have children in a socially acceptable country will reduce depression among gay young people. Straight children are allowed this freedom and should be no surprise that many gay teenagers experience extreme depression.

9. To reduce gay bullying in schools. If we legalize gay marriage, there will be one less reason for gay children to get teased. They will be less reluctant to be ashamed of their personal preference and will have hope that they can be just as happy as their straight counterparts.

10. To help end the hate and intolerance of homosexuality in America. Just because America has a long history of prejudice that's no reason to keep perpetuating it. The unwelcoming fringes of our society seems to become accustomed to moving from alienating one demographic to another and the resistance to gay marriage is just another example of prejudice in America.

Learn more about supporting legalizing gay marriage and the growing social movement at: http://defenseofgaymarriage.blogspot.com/

The Defense of Gay Marriage Act (DGMA) – Started in 2011 by the people supporting gay rights and human rights in America and throughout the world!

Mohs, Justin "Top 10 Reasons to Legalize Gay Marriage." Top 10 Reasons to Legalize Gay Marriage EzineArticles.com. http://ezinearticles.com/?Top-­10-­Reasons-­to-­Legalize-­Gay-­Marriage&id=6662106

The Lesbian Stepparent
By Alex Karydi

There are a few things I fight about with my partner; in fact we are so alike that on the rare occasions we do fight it's exhausting and confusing. The most popular topic of debate is our parenting differences.

I do not ever want my love to feel unable or incapable, but conflict arises as I too struggle with my own insecurities as a parent in training. There are no manuals that comes with children, all parents have to help them are the templates that has been passed down to them by their own parents and caregivers. The blended family has even more challenges, whether it is as straight or LGBT family, having a new family member is a difficult adjustment.

The lesbian step-parent, what does that even mean? Sometimes, women will fall in love with women who already have children, either because they were conceived from a previous heterosexual relationship, or a previous lesbian union, or by adoption. Regardless, when a woman falls in love and enters a relationship with a mother, she is not only committing to her but to her children.

Children are often dealing with the burden of their parents' pasts; that is why accepting a new family member is difficult. Often, children are dealing with residual feelings of loss and abandonment. They are trying to understand situations out of their

control but that they feel directly responsible for. The reason for children feeling responsible is due to the developmental stages humans go through; when we are young we are egocentric. This means that everything children feel is directly related to them, therefore they believe they have control and power to change things.

According to some sources, it takes approximately two years for step-families to gain stability. The journey to a healthy family can be challenging and overwhelming, however the rewards are wonderful and filled with joy.

If your children were conceived in a heterosexual relationship, you must make it clear to your children that it was not their fault and they were not responsible for the relationship terminating. Sometimes, family therapy is needed to communicate this message clearly to children and allow negative emotions out in a safe environment.

Children often have beliefs that there parents will get back together, even years later. This causes friction with a new partner, and could lead to resentment in the child if not treated. That is why it's important to practice patience, all the time! Nothing is more upsetting to me than couples who force their children to adapt to their time frame, forgetting that it's a parent's duty to fulfill their child's needs first.

There are some important steps when dealing with a new step-parent in a lesbian relationship:

Have your partner gently develop a relationship with your child or children, perhaps first as a friendship.
Avoid your partner having a disciplinary role at first, as trust and attachment needs to develop.
Keep your partner out of conflicts you have with your ex.
Neither of you should ever talk negatively about your ex in front of your children; it is hurtful and extremely damaging. No matter what your ex does, it's important to remember that you do not have to act like them to make a point. Have your own standards when dealing with conflict, and that includes keeping your children as far away as possible from that kind of negative communication.
When enough time goes by, allow you partner to parent. That means letting go of some of your motherly duties. Let her take control in order to build a mothering role with your child. For example, in my home we alternate nights tucking our child to bed. We have our own bed rituals and ways of soothing her to sleep.
As a step-parent you have to develop your own independent relationship with the child, perhaps even share a similar interest. My partner loves the outdoors, and when it comes to swimming, fishing, and gardening the two of them are out there having fun (I'm the indoor mommy! That likes to read and draw.)
Don't argue about parenting in front of your children, it's confusing and they will feel like they have to take sides.
Don't force your child to call your partner "mom" or any other maternal nickname.
Allow your partner parental responsibilities, such as picking up the child from school or making lunches. In my house, my partner makes school lunches, because our baby says hers our best but I tells the best stories.
Most important be patient with each other, and remember to be consistent in what you say and do. Children are sensitive and if the pattern of daily life changes than anxiety increases.

Being a parent is hard, but I feel being a step-parent is even more challenging. It requires strength to often swallow your pride and change for a child or children with no guaranties that it will be positive or last. However, I ask that you stay focus in the present, keeping in mind the goal you want to reach with your new family and being grateful for all the steps forward you take with them by your side.

Alex Karydi – The Lesbian Guru

Dedicate to my beautiful partner and daughter, who never stops making me smile. I love you.

I am an Internationally Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor that has been trained in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender LGBT related issues. I write for the Examiner.com as their Lesbian Relationship Expert and am a featured writer on SexGenderBody.com. My intention is to start a movement towards a healthier and more supportive community! Where LGBTs can find each other, learn from one another, and build a stronger support system. I, myself, am on a personal quest in discovery for a healthier gay relationship and self-fulfillment.

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to email me  [mailto:TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com]TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com  with ExaminerQ as the title or you can follow me on my Blog http://TheLesbianGuru.com! Are just Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love on http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru

Karydi, Alex "The Lesbian Stepparent." The Lesbian Stepparent EzineArticles.com. http://ezinearticles.com/?The-­Lesbian-­Stepparent&id=6551796

Ready to start a family? Along with adoption and fostering, surrogacy is a way gay, lesbian, and same-sex couples can expand their families.

Some claim a child raised by two dads or two moms is unhealthy. However, this perception is unsubstantiated. Gay men have the same desires to be parents that straight men do. They are capable of providing all the love required to raise children. It is such a
wonderful thing that Surrogacy provides an option for gay men to
become parents.

Being a proud parent is a full-time job for a lifetime. Everyone wanting to be a parent should prepare and plan  for this very carefully, thoroughly and meticulously. Parenting is a decision you are making for life and brings a whole set of responsibilities along with it. In order to make the planning stage of your parenting decision a bit easier hear are some tips and guides involved in Gay Surrogacy and same-sex parenting.

1:  It is said that people don't plan to fail, they just fail to plan. Always plan ahead, Make sure you have made arrangements ahead
of time so that your child does not have to suffer from these painful occurrences. Be it a divorce or separation, bankruptcy, death or any other unforeseeable event.

2:  When you are 100% sure that you are emotionally and financially prepared for becoming a parent, start thinking of creating family with gay surrogacy. Raising a child requires consistent long term physical, emotional and a financial commitment. It is an amazing thing to see how this investment pays off in the long run, however, you need to make 200% sure that you are ready, willing and able to do this commitment or
investment.

3:  Once you are ready to make this commitment to start creating your family and be a proud parent, make sure to cover all the legal grounds for your surrogacy arrangement. A sound surrogacy and surrogate contract with no loopholes is what you need. Make sure you seek legal counseling to understand your rights and make sure your rights as intended parents are well-protected in your legal arrangement. You must find out prevailing laws in your own country or from your respective consulate in the country where you intend to start surrogacy process to facilitate and expedite the process for you to carry your baby back to your hometown.

4:  Choosing a Suitable Surrogacy Clinic is most important decision for the successful and Affordable surrogacy for gay men. You need to make it sure that surrogacy clinic offers Gestational Surrogacy to people of all nationalities. Also there surrogacy service are open for all couples including lesbian and gay couples and even single men and single women. Once you make it sure, you use this facility to fulfill your dream of enjoying parenthood.

India is one of the top destinations for gay couples and singles seeking a surrogate child as it is far more cost-effective than other countries.

5:  Selecting egg donor program or egg donor is a very important part in a surrogacy process. Your egg donor will be the biological mother of your child. Egg donation is the process by which a woman provides one or several (usually 10-15) eggs (ova, oocytes) for purposes of assisted reproduction.

6:  Make it sure that your egg donor, are made to put through basic Serological screening tests as well as an infectious disease screening. You will want to make sure that your egg donor is a young healthy individual with a good ovulation cycle.

7:  The last thing you want to do is to pass on an infectious disease to your newborn child. So it is equally important to make it sure that you and your partner are both screened for infectious diseases.

8:  Consider embryo freezing for any embryos you are not planning on using in your first IVF attempt. Plan for the future.

9:  Be ready to embrace the Proud parenting moments and new life you are bringing to this world. If you are at this step, you are already on your way to becoming a Proud parent.

10:  After you become Proud parent, you may join Support groups for Kids With Gay Parents in your area, that supports children and adults with LGBT parents.

There are certain important tips that you will have to take care when you opt for gay surrogacy or finding affordable surrogates, surrogacy mother, Egg Donor, Surrogacy In India -Surrogacy Steps, Surrogacy FAQ, Surrogacy Costs, Surrogacy laws, Surrogacy Tips, Surrogacy Procedures, Surrogacy Basic FAQs,Gay Surrogacy – Affordable surrogacy for gay couples,same-sex surrogacy,lesbian surrogacy egg donors,ovum donors,ovum donation,eggs donor,the egg donor,cost of surrogate,egg donation donor for surrogacy in India.

So now that you are very much aware of the benefits that you can get from the affordable surrogates for gay in India what are you waiting for? Pull up your socks and start hunting for the surrogacy clinic that offer you with this option. There are many good Affordable Surrogacy clinic In India that offer you with good great deals in surrogacy.

You can get in touch with One such Friendly surrogacy clinic in India, offering customized surrogacy and affordable surrogacy packages is Rotunda-The Center for Human Reproduction, they offer Gestational Surrogacy in India to people of all nationalities. All couples including lesbian and gay couples and even single men and single women can avail this facility to fulfill their dream of enjoying parenthood.

Now everyone can have baby, Everyone can Start Creating Families
Through Surrogacy and be a proud parent today by contacting them
and Please fill in your details on their websites at http://www.surrogacymumbai.com/index.php/the-same-sex-couples.html or http://www.rotunda.co.in or http://www.iwannagetpregnant.com/programs/gestational-surrogacy.html or simply a phone call at +91 22 2655 2000 or +91 22 26405000

Gay Surrogacy – Affordable surrogacy for gay couples,Helping gay couples build a family with help from Gay Surrogacy Clinics.Know all about Gay Surrogacy – Affordable surrogacy for gay couples, same-sex surrogacy,lesbian surrogacy,egg donors,ovum donors,ovum donation,eggs donor,the egg donor,cost of surrogate,egg donation donor only at Rotunda-The Center for Human Reproduction.

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10 Tips to Choose the Best Fertility Clinic for You and Your Partner
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Lena_M_Butler]Lena M Butler

Getting pregnant and having a baby is one of life's greatest miracles and also one of its biggest joys. But while getting pregnant may come easy to most couples, some find it very difficult, especially in this day and age when many women get married at a later age. Statistics show that because of this and other things, such as pollution, improper diet and the rise of unnatural substances in food have increased the incidences of infertility all over the world. If you are one of the many couples who find it hard getting pregnant then you should consider going to a fertility clinic.

Remember though, that not all fertility clinics are created equal. Much thought has to be put into deciding what fertility treatment to get and which clinic to go to, depending, of course, on the underlying reasons for your infertility. Below are some great tips that we can share with you to help you decide on the best fertility clinic for you and your spouse or partner.

1. Research online and look at the success rates of the clinics. You can usually find this in the fertility clinic's website. If their statistics aren't published online, then contact the clinic and ask them for a written statement of their most recent live birth rate successes. Make sure that you know what age brackets the success rates pertain to, since younger women usually have a higher success rate than older women.

2. Take into consideration your age. Some fertility clinics can succeed in helping younger women but if you're over 35 years old, then maybe you should consider going to a clinic with fertility treatments for women your age, since you will be having a harder time conceiving.

3. Don't be afraid to ask questions about the clinic and its doctors and staff. It's always good to know the history of the clinic. One that's been around for years has advantages, since it might have a better grasp of fertility treatments and better doctors.

4. Check the facilities yourself. Visit your top five clinics and check their rooms, see if the staff is friendly and ask if you can also check their equipment. Make sure the rooms are clean-you wouldn't want to be worrying about contracting diseases, bacteria or viruses while trying to get pregnant.

5. Make an appointment with the doctors of the fertility clinics in your list. It's better to choose a doctor that you're comfortable with and one who you don't mind opening up to. Remember that the success of your treatments also depend on your interaction and relationship with your doctor or specialist.

6. Check infertility blogs or parenting websites. There are tons of sites that list the best fertility clinics or treatment centers in different areas of the world. Parents (  rel=nofollow [http://www.parents.com]www.parents.com) for instance, has listed the top ten fertility centers in the USA. In the UK, on the other hand, the Human Fertility and Embryology Authority (HFEA) has listed down the centers that are licensed with the group.

7. Ask what treatments are offered. There are different fertility treatments for different cases of infertility. Some couples, for example, might need Donor Insemination while others might be required to undergo In Vitro Fertilization. Make sure that the clinic you're considering offers the treatment that you have to take.

8. Get detailed information, leaflets or pamphlets about the fertility treatments in each clinic as well as the costs for each treatment or procedure. It's best to know before starting treatment how much you would have to shell out or save, not only for the treatment itself but also for subsequent visits, check-ups and medicine.

9. Ask if they have a certain age limit for infertility treatments. Some clinics won't accept patients over 50, while others won't discriminate against older women. If you are way past 40 years of age, then it's good to ask the limits of the clinic.

10. Consider the number of cycles that the clinic does per year. Remember that the more patients or fertility treatment cycles the clinic and their doctors handle annually, the less attention they can give you.

Getting pregnant and having a baby should be a joyous and happy occasion for you and your spouse or partner-even if you have to go through fertility treatments to get pregnant. Make sure that you don't stress yourself and that you are well prepared for treatments by choosing only the best fertility clinics. We hope that the tips above can help you with your decision.

This Article is written by Lena Butler, from TestCountry the contributor of [http://www.testcountry.org/]Health & Drug Testing Information Center. More information on the subject is at http://www.testcountry.org and resources from other home health and wellness testing articles are used such as Fertility Test Kit.

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?10-Tips-to-Choose-the-Best-Fertility-Clinic-for-You-and-Your-Partner&id=5647718] 10 Tips to Choose the Best Fertility Clinic for You and Your Partner

Butler, Lena M. "10 Tips to Choose the Best Fertility Clinic for You and Your Partner." 10 Tips to Choose the Best Fertility Clinic for You and Your Partner EzineArticles.com. http://ezinearticles.com/?10-­Tips-­to-­Choose-­the-­Best-­Fertility-­Clinic-­for-­You-­and-­Your-­Partner&id=5647718

Diverse Families and School Curriculum
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Patricia_Fioriello]Patricia Fioriello

The world is full of families which are culturally, ethnically and racially diverse. There are also diverse families like single-parent, multi-generational, LGBT and other families which prove to be challenging for teachers to meet the needs of all students efficiently. Teachers have a responsibility to open the learner's eyes to the world and it's diverse culture.

School performance related to home

Studies have shown that a student's performance and behavior in school is related to the kind of family a student lives in. Students from different families have particular strengths, as well as challenges. Teachers should always have the ability to build on the knowledge and information that a student gets in the classroom especially one which is created by their family and ancestors. Teachers should try to recognize the actual experience of the students and their families. They should also give families a lawful voice in their core curriculum and unit planning.

Teachers must balance high stakes accountability testing with the skills students need to endure, prosper and succeed at school. The more you know about the learner's diverse family, the more you will be able to teach them better. The teacher should also emphasize the various ways to embrace parents in the education practice and encourage learning at home.

Family diversity part of school curriculum

The success rate of a student largely depends on the curriculum designed for them by the teacher or school management.  While preparing these programs, a student's family structure should also be considered and included in a way that will be appropriate and easy to understand for all students in the classroom.

Family diversity must be a central component in teacher education programs. Teachers need to understand family structures, embrace diverse family values, demonstrate tolerance, and be prepared to reach families of all types. The objective of teacher education should be to emphasize the importance of the many ways to include parents in the learning process and promote learning at home. It is important that teachers of different subjects work jointly in association with the parents to write a curriculum for students to enhance their knowledge.

Also making students know the distinction between school and community settings may help them acquire proper learning for each situation.

Related article

[http://drpfconsults.com/ways-to-include-gay-and-lesbian-families-in-the-school/]Gay/Lesbian Families in the School

Dr. Patricia Fioriello has 25 years experience in K-12 education as a teacher, principal, and central office manager. She publishes blogs, articles, e guides and books addressing the critical issues in K-12 schools. Writing services include study materials, documents and presentations. Dr. Fioriello also conducts workshops, private online tutoring and consulting for K-12 educators and the community. She is available online at http://www.liveperson.com/dr-patricia-fioriello

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Diverse-Families-and-School-Curriculum&id=2897997] Diverse Families and School Curriculum

Fioriello, Patricia "Diverse Families and School Curriculum." Diverse Families and School Curriculum EzineArticles.com. http://ezinearticles.com/?Diverse-­Families-­and-­School-­Curriculum&id=2897997

Do States Where Gay Marriage is Legal Have Fertility Clinics For IVF Or Surrogacy?
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Justin_DiMateo]Justin DiMateo

Gay marriage and fertility clinics are popular topics for many same sex couples interested in having children of their own. While many couples choose to adopt, many also want a child that is biologically related to one of the partners. Fortunately, there are clinics spread across the United States that offer fertility services and procedures such as InVitro Fertilization (IVF) and surrogacy.

To begin, the states in which gays and lesbians may legally marry are Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, New York and Washington, D.C. Other states legally recognize same sex marriages that were performed elsewhere. These include California, New York, Rhode Island and Maryland.

As laws are constantly changing, the states that allow or do not allow same sex marriage may change. For instance, in California, marriages that were performed before Prop 8 was passed in November 2008 are still legally recognized, but new marriages may not be performed according to the law. However, a ruling from a federal judge declared that the ban was unconstitutional and that same-sex couples could resume marrying on August 18, 2010 as long as the appeals court does not prevent that from happening.

Fertility clinics are everywhere throughout the country. InVitro Fertilization is one of the more popular and well-known fertility treatments and is offered at clinics throughout the country and used in many surrogacy services. The laws governing surrogacy in each state may vary, however, so it is important to get an understanding of the laws in your state before pursuing the procedure.

New Hampshire, for example, permits surrogacy for married couples only, but it is not really clear if this applies to same sex marriages and whether same sex married couples may enter into contracts. In many states, there are no laws even on the books regarding surrogacy, like in Iowa, Massachusetts, California and Connecticut. However, it appears that surrogacy contracts are accepted.

In New York and Washington, D.C. surrogacy agreements, regardless of the sexual orientation of the parents, are prohibited and are not enforceable. In Maryland and Rhode Island, surrogacy among same sex couples has not been addressed by courts so it is difficult to determine the validity of such contracts in these states. In states where the laws are unclear, it is advisable that couples speak with an attorney.

While many clinics offer surrogacy and InVitro Fertilization, determining the validity of the contract is very important before embarking on this expensive and often emotional journey.

Justin is a writer in the health field and suggests you visit a fertility clinic that specializes in [http://www.bostonivf.com/gay_couple_family_building.html]gay couple parenting  such as Boston IVF due to their status as being regarded as one of the best clinics in the country and New England. [http://www.fertilityproregistry.com]fertility treatment can help families achieve dreams.

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Do-States-Where-Gay-Marriage-is-Legal-Have-Fertility-Clinics-For-IVF-Or-Surrogacy?&id=4924505] Do States Where Gay Marriage is Legal Have Fertility Clinics For IVF Or Surrogacy?

Same Sex Marriage in a Modern Society
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Azaan_Kamau]Azaan Kamau

I remember back on March 7, 2000 when Californians voted yes on Proposition 22. This initiative was to prevent California from recognizing same sex marriage. The proposition stated California would legally recognize marriage between a male and a female. Back then, Conservative Republican Senator Peter Knight and a host of Conservative Christian groups were behind the initiative. Mr. Knight literally stripped law-abiding, tax paying citizens of their civil and human rights. His initiative removed the right to make sound choices that are conducive to our lives.

A few years back, we celebrated the courage of San Francisco's Mayor Gavin Newsom and many other courageous leaders around the country. These leaders took a stand on same sex marriage simply because they felt it was right and just. This is the first time in history when so many cities and public officials have stood for what is right and what is moral. Because of this great courage, there are many same sex newlyweds! I am proud to say, this year I will be celebrating the two year anniversary of my own marriage!

In the midst of all the joy and celebrations, President Bush proposed a Federal Marriage Amendment to restrict the union of marriage to a male and female! This makes a loud statement to the World that same sex couples and their families will not be accepted or treated as equals in this country. This is blatant amplified discrimination.

There are many people and organizations that oppose same sex marriage. The main argument is that same sex unions will threaten and weaken the institution of traditional marriage. Same sex unions will supposedly destroy the family structure! Family structure? Again I am stocked that our country is being lied to and mislead.

In my opinion extramarital affairs and dishonesty weaken the institution of marriage. Bigamy, spousal abuse, child molestation have weakened the institution of marriage. Marriage for citizenship, fame, or sex has weakened the institution of marriage. Biblical interpretations and murder for insurance benefits have weakened the institution of marriage. Who wants to marry a millionaire! I could go on and on with examples of how America's values have not only weakened the institution of marriage, they have destroyed it! Same sex marriage has absolutely nothing to do with heterosexual marital dysfunction.

The traditional family has gone through an enormous transformation. The divorce rate continues to skyrocket, and the reality of unwed mothers has become the norm. Because of these facts, I would think this country has more important issues to tackle instead of restricting the basic right of marriage. Healthcare, social security, affordable housing for everyone and the national deficit need much more attention!

I clearly remember back on March 18, 2004, I attended a rally organized by the National Black Justice Coalition. The purpose of the rally was to challenge the Mayor of Los Angeles to formally fight the Federal Marriage Amendment. Politicians, religious leaders, activist and many organizations attended this historic event. We took a stand for what we believe is right and just. Our basic civil and equal rights.

What rights many ask? Some of those rights are the right to medical decision making for your partner when she can't, the right to family medical leave or inheritance. The right to make funeral arrangements is absolutely imperative!

There are many leaders who support these basic rights. One of those fearless warriors was Coretta Scott King. Mrs. King spoke out against the Federal Constitutional Amendment prohibiting same sex marriage. Mrs. King stated, Gay and lesbian people have families, their families should have legal protection, whether by marriage or civil union. A Constitutional Amendment banning same sex marriage is a form of gay bashing, and it would do nothing at all to protect traditional marriages.

By Mrs. King standing up for what is right, I pray that others will come forward and speak out against any form of prejudice or injustice.

Stand up for what you believe is right no matter the issue or cause. Be a part of your future and the future of your beliefs. Your words and actions will make a difference in changing the landscape of discrimination.

Proposition 8 or The California Marriage Protection Act has made it clear, the Proposition eliminates right of Same-Sex Couples to marry. The bottom line, marriage is a basic human right the every American should be allowed to enjoy.

"A threat to justice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere"

Dr. Martin Luther King

Azaan Kamau

I just wrote and published Got Homophobia! The ultimate goal of Got Homophobia is to save our youth from bullying and ultimately suicide. Please join in saving lives. Get your copy of this rare book today at http://www.lulu.com/product/file-download/got-homophobia/13835539?productTrackingContext=author_spotlight_230924_

Kamau, Azaan "Same Sex Marriage in a Modern Society." Same Sex Marriage in a Modern Society EzineArticles.com. http://ezinearticles.com/?Same-­Sex-­Marriage-­in-­a-­Modern-­Society&id=5855262