Deciding to have a baby is a very big decision.  It’s even more tasking when you have a  Lesbian couple who not have to only deal with the backlash of what others in society may think but we also have to deal with the daunting task of not having ready access to Sperm.

When we decided we wanted to start our family, my partner had just graduated from Nursing School  I was ready to start a family 10 years ago.  But we both wanted to wait until after her graduation, as I had already had my college degree.

We began our journey by searching the web for various Sperm Banks that would cater to our special need of Donor Sperm.  After all Lesbians don’t have sperm readily available.  After searching the web for several weeks we were able to find several reputable companies that were willing to provide that service, for a fee of course.

We could have chosen a Lesbian Owned Sperm Bank, Pacific Reproductive Services,, or several others such as California Cryobank, and many others but we chose to go with California Cryobank because they had more choices.

Here is a list of a few others we looked at:

1. Xytex

2. Cryogenic Laboratories

3. Fairfax

4. New England Cryogenic Center

There is an art to picking which “Baby Daddy” will suit your Sperm deficiency.  Do I choose, brown eyes or black eyes, square chin or round chin or college degree'd or uneducated?  All of these decisions will hopefully get you to picking the right characteristics so that you can birth the “perfect baby”.  We ended up picking a donor with Almond Large Eyes, Medium sized face, with long gorgeous lashes.  He also has thick, curved eyebrows, an oval shaped face, medium skin tone, average forehead, with a few freckles and dimples.  The nose is round, average with an average nostril flare.  We wanted large, full lips.  Curly hair was a must, medium length and average fullness.  And to top it all off, we wanted straight teeth, to make sure my baby had a beautiful smile.  Basically, I am describing someone who looks a little like me.

It was important that we chose those characteristics because my partner would be carrying the baby to full term, so I wanted someone who would look a little like me.  And I think we got as close, to looking like me, as possible.

Even though we had to go through this process of finding an actual donor, I must say it was an easy process.  Each Sperm bank was easy and friendly to use.  It provided enough information for us to make an informed decision. Each Sperm bank is FDA approved and the donors from those facilities meet FDA eligibility requirements.  So we felt very comfortable going through the process of picking the right donor for our baby.

Some people might ask, “Why didn’t you just try to conceive with a guy and get pregnant”?  Well the answer is that we are in a committed relationship.  Not only are we committed to each other, but we didn’t want the added hassle of having a third parent in the picture.  It was important to us, as a couple, that we raise our child alone, without the interference of another parent in the picture.  Oh believe me there will be plenty of friends and male influences around, should we have a boy.  But it was important to use that we raise our children ourselves.  We’re ok with our baby having Two Mommies.

In the end, we think we picked the right Sperm Donor and we moved on to the next process of finding a Fertility Specialist to help us in our next step of actually getting pregnant.


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